Updated: Apr 20
Cheating is one of the most difficult things to face in a relationship. Whether you are a guy or a girl, being cheated on can affect your trust and confidence for many years to come. Cheating does not have any rules or consistencies. You can be the most intelligent and accomplished person on the planet and the drug of love can take over, making it impossible to not only read the signs but impossible to imagine someone whom you love would do this to you. You question yourself over and over again. Why did I not see the signs? How could this happen to me? What will my friends think? Why am I not enough? And then the other line of questions set in. Was she sleeping with both of us at once? Did he know about me but turned a blind eye? Was she ever in love with me?
In the book BURNT, Michael’s heart is broken when he discovers that the woman with whom he deeply felt was the love of his life had in fact been cheating on him since the moment they met. The relationship began to fall apart after 5 months when Michael began to question inconsistencies in Simone’s behaviour, attitude and availability. Like many people in a similar position, Michael was deeply in love with Simone and was convinced he had met the absolute love of his life. When someone cheats, the signs are not always obvious. For Michael, Simone was loving and attentive. She showered him in messages of love and he returned these without question.
So, can you ever forgive someone who has cheated on you?
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If you cannot trust someone it is impossible to love him or her with all of your heart. Trust is earned and in the beginning of any relationship trust is unconditional. Once lost, it can never be regained. When you are in shock however, many people try to forgive and maintain the relationship because they are so in love with their cheating partner. Thoughts go through your head like; we can work this out? and my love for him or her is so strong we can get through this. Once the shock wears off though a very strange thing happens. Your attraction for this person you were once unable to get enough of starts to disappear and their stories become implausible. This is the fatally wounded phase and can last for weeks. You think that you can restore the love but the tank is empty.
When a partner cheats on you and begs for forgiveness you should also be very wary. Why did they cheat in the first place? Even if you create a new set of rules, how can you trust them when they have been so deceitful?
In BURNT, although Michael was in such shock, he felt he could re-establish their love. Often you want to come out as the winner, the one the cheater chose. This is not all about ego. This is about your self-worth, your value as a loving partner and your value as a lover.
So, while many people may stay with their cheating partner, the truth is the relationship is compromised and the trust you once shared can never be restored. I am of the opinion that it is better to be living in truth than living in deceit and while I have forgiven, I have never forgotten. It inevitably means… a table for one.
BURNT by JD Watt 2nd Edition available on Amazon Kindle
JD Watt, author of the book “BURNT”; the shocking true story of a woman’s deception and a man’s broken heart, is a divorced, devastatingly handsome, affluent single 51-year-old professional. He lives in the wealthy Eastern Suburbs of Sydney Australia. He is also a blogger giving his advice on love, relationships, sex and dating from the perspective of a middle-aged guy having learnt so much from his decade long search for “the one”.
Intelligent, established, sophisticated, cultured, honest, kind, loving, generous, tall and handsome, JD is every woman’s dream.
He offers advice on relationships and how to read the signs so you never get “BURNT”. JD believes in love and so should you. BURNT by JD Watt is available on Amazon, Kindle and online Booksellers globally. Download or buy your copy today.
JD Watt is not a psychologist or therapist; he bases his advice and opinions on his own life experience.
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